Cheese apocalypse of 2014 is now right around the corner. Kraft Foods has announced that there is a shortage of Velveeta on the East Coast. Ohhh my God, what will I do now? How will the Super Bowl snack table be complete without a gooey bowl of my secret recipe dip? Now I have heard the rumors from the street, there has been a rush on the supermarkets to purchase that big blob of goodness. Old ladies have been trampled in the isle and there are stories of Black Friday craziness circulating everywhere.
Being the good trained scout that I am with a history of always trying to be prepared, I tried to remain calm and figure out a plan that would get me out of this madness. What will I do when I get to the supermarket and there is no Velveeta to be found on the shelf? Would the Dairy man accept a bribe? Should I play hard ball and lie like I have a big connection? There has to be a secret stash hidden away from the mad rush of shoppers that are all there trying to get their fix. How will anyone’s Super Bowl snack table be complete this year without a gooey bowl of the dip?
So I took that trip to the store and can you imagine my surprise when I got there? The stuff was there. It was standing out like fresh fruit that was ready to be picked. The only thing that was missing was the “On Sale” price that should have been part of the supermarkets draw for everyone’s pre Super Bowl shopping list.
And then it dawned on me. If you remember, last year, we supposedly wouldn’t have enough wings for Super Bowl parties. That shortage never came to fruition. Those Damned Doomsday Yackers are trying to create a backup at the cash registers. I think I’m starting to see a pattern here.
Being the good trained scout that I am with a history of always trying to be prepared, I tried to remain calm and figure out a plan that would get me out of this madness. What will I do when I get to the supermarket and there is no Velveeta to be found on the shelf? Would the Dairy man accept a bribe? Should I play hard ball and lie like I have a big connection? There has to be a secret stash hidden away from the mad rush of shoppers that are all there trying to get their fix. How will anyone’s Super Bowl snack table be complete this year without a gooey bowl of the dip?
So I took that trip to the store and can you imagine my surprise when I got there? The stuff was there. It was standing out like fresh fruit that was ready to be picked. The only thing that was missing was the “On Sale” price that should have been part of the supermarkets draw for everyone’s pre Super Bowl shopping list.
And then it dawned on me. If you remember, last year, we supposedly wouldn’t have enough wings for Super Bowl parties. That shortage never came to fruition. Those Damned Doomsday Yackers are trying to create a backup at the cash registers. I think I’m starting to see a pattern here.
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