.

Did His Ears Hang Low?
Suspect shouts curses at neighbors, slings genitals at deputies.

You Have To Start With Goals
Mississippi men tried cashing in lottery ticket after gluing on the winning numbers, officials say

Guilty Pleasures Are Bad
Popcorn stuck in man’s tooth leads to life-threatening infection, open heart surgery

She Also Failed At Acting Class
Woman wearing FBI hat tells gas station clerks she's with the CIA

Planning For Efficiency 
Do Not Make It Easy For The Cops By Hiding Your Meth Stash Inside A Box Labeled "Dope"

I Cant Touch That
Man ransacks home, steals toilet seat in bizarre burglary

The Story Should Go "The Means and The End"
Florida woman arrested for threatening to get McDonald’s sauce by any ‘means necessary’

Just A Little Diggin
Police Rescue Woman Trapped In Clothing Donation Bin For Three Days